JUST KILL YOURSELF NOW--NATALEE WILL HAUNT YOU FOREVER

The rest of your life you are going to pay for this. You will be completely ostracized by this and you will lead a miserable and troubled life, yet still maintain "yes, I inhaled." and it doesn't count. Please don't insult my intelligence.


I hope Natalee haunts you until the day you die and forever in your afterlife.

Get prepared Joran! This is just the beginning!

Dutch Parliament Reinstates Capital Punishment

(Is Joran setting some legal precedent?)

a.p. The Hague (February 11, 2008)


Sources have confirmed that the Dutch Parliament met in a special session over the weekend and hastily enacted legislation to reinstate capital punishment after a 600 year hiatus in Holland. The same sources believe that this legislation has been enacted in response to concerns that Joran van der Sloot might get away with murder.

In what legal and Constitutional law experts are hailing as an act of sheer brilliance, it is anticipated that Joran van der Sloot himself will be the first Dutchman to be executed since the 14th century, or 200 years before Holland achieved its independence from Spain.

Since the nation no longer has any means for executing the condemned, they are flying in a team of Taiwanese dermatologists to carry out the ultimate sanction by peeling the skin off of his face.