July 27, 2006

ABRA-ABRA-CADABRA...I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA!



By Patrick Hurley,
Aruban Boycott Contributor




Aruba needs to be renamed Abra-ca-da-bra!


Now you see it....now you DON'T!




Here you have it...here you WON'T!



No, I am not singing that old Diet Pepsi commercial referring to weight loss. I am mocking the worst investigative team in the history of law enforcement. We have finally located "The Gang who Couldn't Shoot Straight!"


Van Der Stratten....Jacobs....Janssen....Dompig....


Not since Rosie Ruiz pretended to win the Boston Marathon by hopping on a subway in the middle of the race have we seen such incompetence in action involving egos who tried to convince all of us they were winners.



If this is the epitome of successful law enforcement bring back the Keystone Kops! Hmm, maybe they came out of retirement and now live in Aruba?



This country is badly misnamed. The travel brochures to this horrendous island paradise implies the "magic" that exists there for those who want to escape from the routine of every day life but the word is better used in a legal context. It has been truly "magical" to see the people who are supposed to protect young women like Natalee Holloway and her family in bringing justice to the fore and I do not mean that in a complimentary sense.


Remember all the, "now you see it, now you DON'T!" moments in this pathetic investigation? Like a magician who pulls a rabbit out of his hat and then....KILLS it! The land of Abra-ca-dab-ra rolls right along with its sadistic approach to breaking the hearts of Beth and Dave instead of breaking the case.



"We have arrested two security guards for the murder of Natalee Holloway." ABRACADBRA! "No, we HAVEN'T!"



"Joran has confessed to the murder!" ABRACADBRA! "No, he DIDN'T!" "We have the three boys in custody and Paulus, too!" ABRACADBRA! "No, we DON'T!"



"There has been a major breakthrough in the case! We have found....(insert here a large drum, panties, condoms, a pond, a waste dump, 752 gardners, twenty of Joran's best friends, a shadow in the ocean,
Arlene Schipper's sincerity, a mansion, Jimmy Hoffa) and we now believe we can solve this mystery!" ABRACADBRA! "No, we CAN'T!"


This indeed is a magical island. That is why I encourage you to never go there.


Because one day your family may be saying, "Our loved one is coming home today from Aruba." ABRACADBRA! "Nope, I guess NOT!" If you don't want someone you really care about to disappear then make sure they never travel to ABRACADBRA.


Please and thank you.


2 comments:

dennisintn said...

i read an advertisement on the internet for aruba today. they listed all the really fun things to do on the happy island. absolutely nothing there that you can't do cheaper and safer almost anywhere else there's ocean front property EXCEPT - and they forgot this one, i guess, SEARCH FOR THE REMAINS OF NATALEE ANN HOLLOWAY, AND THE EVIDENCE THAT WOULD CONVICT THE THREE MEN THAT TOOK HER. add some variety to your life while you're there. spend a week digging in the hot, stinking, nasty landfill searching for your daughter, and then when you get close, they start a fire, make you leave, and then backfill the hole just as you're getting to the level of garbage that just might contain your lovely daughter's body. or, just take your blonde teenage daughter, nice, sister to the island with you and try to keep her from being drugged, kidnapped, raped, and hopefully not murdered. the list goes on and on. if you would like to hear all of the possibilities, just let me know, and i'll put you in touch with the games director on the island.
dennisintn

Anonymous said...

Aruba make people feel so angry and depressed, just like the Big Dig, horror of lies and corruptions. To easy the pain and disappointment, people want to eat more junk foods, and gain excessive weight and obesity. Just don't go to Aruba, it will kill you! The people of Boston learn a great lesson of Aruba, if you coverup like a Joran and Big Dig, you will kill a lot of innocent people. We better just bury the Aruba in the sea to stop all these "ABRACADBRA" rats.