ABRA-ABRA-CADABRA...I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA!

By Patrick Hurley,
Aruban Boycott Contributor

Aruba needs to be renamed Abra-ca-da-bra!

Now you see it....now you DON'T!




Here you have it...here you WON'T!

No, I am not singing that old Diet Pepsi commercial referring to weight loss. I am mocking the worst investigative team in the history of law enforcement. We have finally located "The Gang who Couldn't Shoot Straight!"

Van Der Stratten....Jacobs....Janssen....Dompig....

Not since Rosie Ruiz pretended to win the Boston Marathon by hopping on a subway in the middle of the race have we seen such incompetence in action involving egos who tried to convince all of us they were winners.


If this is the epitome of successful law enforcement bring back the Keystone Kops! Hmm, maybe they came out of retirement and now live in Aruba?


This country is badly misnamed. The travel brochures to this horrendous island paradise implies the "magic" that exists there for those who want to escape from the routine of every day life but the word is better used in a legal context. It has been truly "magical" to see the people who are supposed to protect young women like Natalee Holloway and her family in bringing justice to the fore and I do not mean that in a complimentary sense.


Remember all the, "now you see it, now you DON'T!" moments in this pathetic investigation? Like a magician who pulls a rabbit out of his hat and then....KILLS it! The land of Abra-ca-dab-ra rolls right along with its sadistic approach to breaking the hearts of Beth and Dave instead of breaking the case.


"We have arrested two security guards for the murder of Natalee Holloway." ABRACADBRA! "No, we HAVEN'T!"


"Joran has confessed to the murder!" ABRACADBRA! "No, he DIDN'T!" "We have the three boys in custody and Paulus, too!" ABRACADBRA! "No, we DON'T!"


"There has been a major breakthrough in the case! We have found....(insert here a large drum, panties, condoms, a pond, a waste dump, 752 gardners, twenty of Joran's best friends, a shadow in the ocean, Arlene Schipper's sincerity, a mansion, Jimmy Hoffa) and we now believe we can solve this mystery!" ABRACADBRA! "No, we CAN'T!"

This indeed is a magical island. That is why I encourage you to never go there.

Because one day your family may be saying, "Our loved one is coming home today from Aruba." ABRACADBRA! "Nope, I guess NOT!" If you don't want someone you really care about to disappear then make sure they never travel to ABRACADBRA.


Please and thank you.